fat tuesday

3 times before lunch I received an email with this subject line:

12 Winter Depression Busters

Gee, thanks everyone.

But seriously if you want the email its great I can forward it to you..

Last night I was looking at pictures from the Bahamas and day dreaming about vitamin D. I began to wonder this if i lived in a place like the Bahamas where it doesn't get dark at noon and feel like communist Russia outside- do you still feel blah at this time of year? Or are they still beating on those steel drums and drinking rum slushies?

Deep thoughts thats I tend to dwell on are: the grass is dead, i heart soup and socks, can my weekend plans be cable, my nose will be cold until late April, my car needs washed, is there more to life than oatmeal, my skin tone went from olive to albino in a month and a half, my ass is becoming like a shelf under my lower back, is sleeping with my hood up and tied sexy, is my best friend is a yankee candle, do other women shave their legs in January, why are flasks socially unaceptable, and last but not least....can hot chocolate and my journal somehow be incorporated into be my 'career path'

This morning I forced myself to wear....wait for it...the color blue. (see photo above) Don't let the mardi gras beads fool you.... Because everyday this week I have been hiding in every variation of the ever chic black turtleneck- one day i even tried a splash of gray.

I also joined this post-holiday morale boosting program at the gym called "I lost it at the club"...cute i know. Anywho the premise is you weigh in weekly and they show your weight loss progress on a public cork board. For the time being is the closest thing I can afford to a personal trainer (should have never broken up with Exercise Science Greg) This surely will give me just the the jolt I need!

The contest has given me the raw motivation to consistently pack ON 2lbs each week....and for NO COST they hide that information above the club's only water fountain. Now every big necked frat boy and soccer mom in a matchy matchy tracksuits can see my percentage of weight GAIND . (if they have to have the ability de-code my name spelled backwards) It may as well say "Every Tuesday ylimE has a habit of eating seven or eight 100 calorie packs of oreos while watching Biggest Loser and drinking wine in a box just because its winter"

A reminder just flashed on my screen I am 9 minutes late for my

....Wellness Committee Meeting.

.