My dear friend JB recently started dating this UBER-intellectual.
She has described there relationship before as a bit like Pinky and the Brain- he for example is so intelligent he is employed by the government and is "not permitted to speak about his job". Her and I on the other hand work for a company whose core product is coupons- hey bogo my friend.
So last weekend during our pre-date coffee*
*this is the time when I get to live vicariously through her date and hash out the evenings plans, appropriate dress code, and we devise smart questions to ask him.
This time I said to JB promise you'll ask the Brain if he "gets the weather?"
I pride my self in street smarts and a dusty bachelors degree BUT as soon as my local news station begins its SUPERDOOPERDOPLAR radar schtick- I get a really glazed over look. I feel like I am watching a foreign film with no subtitles straining to hear words I understand....in-between ones like squall, alberta clipper, front, barometric, low pressure system and mold spores. If I am hearing things like "prepare for a Nor_Easter" what the hell should my course of action be? Coloring Eggs? Bottom line is the weather makes me feel stupid- and I want to know if other lay-people/non-meteorologists* get it?
*even this very title is confusing to me...if I heard meteor though in a 7-day forecast I would sit up and pay attention.
I don't want question the importance of the weather because most Americans listen to every day on the 10's....beginning second the step out of the shower. BUT does it have to be delivered so only rocket surgeons can understand it? Do people when watching the purple blobs that they show us on repeat bouncing over a map apply that knowledge practically? The point of the weather (to me) is how is what's going on outside going to effect all of the shiet I have going on today- and at times for the next 7 days. I love when they throw in a star burst with the word COLD in it- and I cheer at my TV when they put a little lightning bolt or snow flake next to Monday. That makes sense...what doesn't make sense is how the pollen count is going to effect my evening commute? If I am ever run off the highway b/c of a cloud of yellow daisy dust I personally will apologize to jovial Mr. Roker but until then- give me the facts.
This would be a perfect forecast "It is going to be so cold this morning you have to wear that ugly puffer coat you hate just so you don't die- and even so the second you open the door the only choice you have will be to mumble profanities, no high heels b/c you will break your neck on the black ice, windy like your on the top of a mountain shove a scarf in that jacket to cover up any neck popping through, set your alarm 30 minutes early b/c your frozen Volkswagen will need to heat up if you want the brakes to work- it will continue to be frigid on your lunch break so pack, and when you leave in the evening the snow form a few days ago may have melted in the lunchtime sun so its will be equivalent frozen tundra so don't drive to the outlets like planned"
THAT would help me!
And after JB's research we found out that even the BRAIN doesn't get the weather- so just b/c you my local forecaster are on some sort of power trip from community collge lets dumb it down for the rest of us who just need help picking a coat.
She has described there relationship before as a bit like Pinky and the Brain- he for example is so intelligent he is employed by the government and is "not permitted to speak about his job". Her and I on the other hand work for a company whose core product is coupons- hey bogo my friend.
So last weekend during our pre-date coffee*
*this is the time when I get to live vicariously through her date and hash out the evenings plans, appropriate dress code, and we devise smart questions to ask him.
This time I said to JB promise you'll ask the Brain if he "gets the weather?"
I pride my self in street smarts and a dusty bachelors degree BUT as soon as my local news station begins its SUPERDOOPERDOPLAR radar schtick- I get a really glazed over look. I feel like I am watching a foreign film with no subtitles straining to hear words I understand....in-between ones like squall, alberta clipper, front, barometric, low pressure system and mold spores. If I am hearing things like "prepare for a Nor_Easter" what the hell should my course of action be? Coloring Eggs? Bottom line is the weather makes me feel stupid- and I want to know if other lay-people/non-meteorologists* get it?
*even this very title is confusing to me...if I heard meteor though in a 7-day forecast I would sit up and pay attention.
I don't want question the importance of the weather because most Americans listen to every day on the 10's....beginning second the step out of the shower. BUT does it have to be delivered so only rocket surgeons can understand it? Do people when watching the purple blobs that they show us on repeat bouncing over a map apply that knowledge practically? The point of the weather (to me) is how is what's going on outside going to effect all of the shiet I have going on today- and at times for the next 7 days. I love when they throw in a star burst with the word COLD in it- and I cheer at my TV when they put a little lightning bolt or snow flake next to Monday. That makes sense...what doesn't make sense is how the pollen count is going to effect my evening commute? If I am ever run off the highway b/c of a cloud of yellow daisy dust I personally will apologize to jovial Mr. Roker but until then- give me the facts.
This would be a perfect forecast "It is going to be so cold this morning you have to wear that ugly puffer coat you hate just so you don't die- and even so the second you open the door the only choice you have will be to mumble profanities, no high heels b/c you will break your neck on the black ice, windy like your on the top of a mountain shove a scarf in that jacket to cover up any neck popping through, set your alarm 30 minutes early b/c your frozen Volkswagen will need to heat up if you want the brakes to work- it will continue to be frigid on your lunch break so pack, and when you leave in the evening the snow form a few days ago may have melted in the lunchtime sun so its will be equivalent frozen tundra so don't drive to the outlets like planned"
THAT would help me!
And after JB's research we found out that even the BRAIN doesn't get the weather- so just b/c you my local forecaster are on some sort of power trip from community collge lets dumb it down for the rest of us who just need help picking a coat.
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